Sent You a Lot of Messages My Love ♥️ , Stop Ignoring me , Please Reply To My Messages ♥️

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, and living together for 4. Half of our relationship was uni years and I’d say the past 3 years have been us in the actual adult world, making our way and building a life together. We’ve had issues here and there and recently I’ve had this unnerving feeling that our relationship isn’t working without anything clear to point at.

I had a lightbulb moment recently when we both checked our savings / investment accounts. I’d mentioned mine had dipped because of everything going on politically right now so he checked his. Turns out he had 40k just sat there that he didn’t even realise had accumulated that much? I know he makes good money (much more than me) and doesn’t really spend but this was a shock to me. He’d never mentioned how much he had or any intention to save for anything.

That’s when I realised the extent that this man truly has no wants or goals or desires in life. I want to own a home together one day and am saving my tiny wage to make it happen, meanwhile he has a house deposit sat there without even realising? I kind of went on a mental spiral of all the amazing ways we could improve our life or experiences we could enjoy together with that kind of money, but he just doesn’t think of that? It’s not like he’s intending it for retirement either, when I asked he just shrugged and said he didn’t have a plan at all for it. It’s been a few weeks since then and he still hasn’t twigged the potential he has sat there.

I’ve talked about taking small trips or holidays together before and he simply has no interest, so we don’t. He never buys anything, and I mean ANYTHING. He bought himself a new laptop this year and I think that’s the most self-indulgent I’ve ever seen him be.

He’s getting better at buying new clothes I guess? He doesn’t have any career ambitions, he likes his job enough, it pays well, he works from home, but doesn’t have a dream job or any passion in that capacity. Which is fine, not everyone has to do something they care about, but he doesn’t have passion elsewhere either.

He doesn’t have many hobbies, doesn’t really have anything he’s passionate about. He says he wants more hobbies but doesn’t seem interested in anything and won’t try anything either. I hate to say this, but he’s not very passionate in our relationship either. I know he loves me, but he’s not exactly intense about it, and I sometimes question his physical desire for me too. I’m realising he’s been like this our whole relationship. I thought maybe as life got more stable and we grew comfortable he’d tell me his desires, but I’m realising he doesn’t have any.

Before the inevitable mental health question is asked, yes I believe he sometimes struggles, and I’ve asked him to get help multiple times. He’s on medication but refuses point blank to go to therapy or seek any other kind of help.

I’m just kind of having a realisation that this man doesn’t want anything? At all? And I want so much in life. I’m a very passionate person, and I don’t know if I can keep struggling to prod him into wanting things. I think I’ll end up dimming my own desires because of his lack of any. How do I approach this? Do I talk to him about it? Keep encouraging him to try to want things? Do I just act on my own desires and let him either catch up or fall behind?

EDIT: Some people seem to be confused and think I’m mad that he’s saving, I’m not. I’m more concerned that he has so much potential financially but seems to have no intention. He’s not saving for the future as some people think, he admitted he didn’t have any thoughts about that, he’s just throwing it in an account because he doesn’t know what to do with it. Or more accurately had no goals to put it to, even retirement.

tl:dr – I found out my partner has 40k just sat there with zero intention or goal behind it, and it made me realise he doesn’t have wants or desires. I think I’ll end up dimming my own passion and desire if we stay together.